The Gutter Zone

Hiassen nails it to the wall.

Another factor heightened the frenzy: She [Anna Nicole Smith] expired in South Florida, which in February is a dream destination for any journeyman reporter. Had Smith passed away at a Holiday Inn in Buffalo, the throng of invading media would have been much smaller -- and far more eager to leave.

Now the circus shifts to Nassau, where visiting journalists face a dicey new challenge: How to conceal their windsurfing lessons and casino losses on their expense accounts.

It's money that could be spent in pursuit of serious news in Darfur or Pakistan, or even back home where there is likely some crime and corruption waiting to be exposed.

But this is a new dawn for modern journalism. The smelly stuff that was once left to the capable vultures at the Star and The Enquirer is now front-page fodder in your hometown paper, and the lead story on the six o'clock news.

It's very telling.